MISSIONARY TRAINING CENTER, PROVO, UTAH
COMPANION: ELDER HURD
ZONE LEADER
I hope Christmas was half as fantastic for everyone else as it was for me. Elder Bednar came and spoke to us. He passed out 200 cell-phones, told the missionaries to text questions to a number, and then answered the questions for nearly 2 hours. WHOA. Then we got a live Christmasy jazz performance and watched the DVD of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's 2012 Christmas concert (it was breathtaking). All-in-all, it was wonderful.
So I'm not sure I have so much to say! It's only been two days. Elder Bednar's theme was "Turn outwards. Get out of the way and let the spirit do the work. Think nothing of yourself, and questions will be answers, trials will pass, temptation will be fleeting, and progress will be immeasurable." The missionaries in the zone are doing fabulously. We are learning so much and trying to process it as fast as we can. Today is out P-Day, so I just woke up from a delightful little snooze wrapped in my soft blanket beneath my window. I am enjoying the post-snooze haze.
Something a little bit interesting changed for me recently. So for those of you who don't know, I keep a missionary journal every day. After the first couple of weeks, as loneliness was sort of settling into my heart, I started addressing that journal to my future wife. It made my entries more meaningful and connected, and helped me to drive a great part of the emptiness out of myself. Well the MTC, for all its wonder and snow and celebration and Apostle and spiritual whirlwind and paradigm-shifts and fun and joy, can be hard. I guess most things are hard. I make a lot of mistakes every day. With my companion, with the district leaders, in class or in meetings. I correct behavior too sharply or not clearly enough. The words of other missionaries can be hurtful, sleeping can be challenge, and eating sometimes is more of a hindrance than a help.
Let's not over-exaggerate my distress here. There are snowmen and temples and I feel the spirit all day every day. There is purpose and direction and I get to lose myself in the scriptures as often as I could possibly desire. But life can be hard no matter how much you love it, and sometimes what you have just isn't quite enough.
That's how I felt on Christmas, a day which is consistently one of my very favorite and very hardest days. I got back to the residence after a long Christmas, the majority of which I had been in the same room as almost 2000 people, and I was exhausted. I opened up my journal and it just didn't seem like quite enough. Sometimes I express feelings of thankfulness to my phantom friend for the hope that a future of love provides, but it wasn't a person, even a person that one day will be perfect for me, that I felt thankful to, or that I wished to speak to. So my journal that night, and the last couple of days, has been written to my other friend. They have a lot in common really. I have never seen them, but I will one day soon. I love them, I feel like I know them, and I am grateful for the hope they provide. So I talk to "my Jesus", as Nephi calls Him, and it has been amazing. I'm sure there are other contributing factors, but the last two days have just been so peaceful, even though they have been incredibly eventful.
One more quick thought and then I will talk a bit about our "investigators" before I go. We were reading the chapter in 3 Nephi (14? 11?) where Christ allows the nephites to touch his hands and feet. We were discussing in class how the Master Teacher created a spiritual environment before he began to discuss doctrine. One way I commented was that he makes it a "member-present lesson". Before beginning his great sermon, the Savior allows Nephi, the prophet of the time, to approach Him. The other thousands present have the opportunity to witness the reaction of an individual who has some understanding of what is transpiring on that sacred day. The apostle, who's family has governed and led a civilization spreading over an entire hemisphere for hundreds of years, kneels before this marvelous Being, and kisses His feet.
And so an invitation. Allow someone to see what the Savior means to you. Show to your neighbors, your friends, your family, your self, what He does to your heart. Share a bit.
Our investiagators: Jim is a 60+ year old man played by one of our teachers, Brother Reid. We have taught him a few times. He has no family and has always been alone, but he loves the gospel, particularly the plan of salvation, and has committed to be baptized! The gospel just resonated with him, and his lessons feel like playing basketball with a 7' hoop.
Lisa is a bit trickier. She is played by one of the sister training leaders, Sister Pasko. She is young, intellectual, has a million questions, and dislikes feelings in general. We have taught her the first lesson but failed to really connect with her. Our main focus is making sure she understands how to feel and recognize the spirit.
Solomon, for me, is the most challenging of all. He is played by our other teacher, brother Morris. He is a middle-school teacher with a long christian background, reserved, and curious. After flatly refusing a baptism question, falling through on his commitment, and one lesson in which we did not manage to illicit a single meaningful response, I was hitting my head against the proverbial wall (Actually it was a literal wall. Unfortunately the walls here are made of brick, and the rough sides broke the skin on my forehead. Unbeknownst to me, it started to bleed, and when I walked into the class my companion loudly informed me of it. So I've gotten some very concerned looks lately. But I digress.) Then in our lesson with him yesterday we broke through. The spirit did not seem to care that it was a simulation, and helped lead us to ask questions and make comments that got through to some of his more core concerns. There is lots of work yet to be done, but he has accepted a baptism invitation and is keeping commitments like a champ.
So that is the status of the work here. I am learning, I am growing, I am trying to say I less often. There are new thoughts and adventures and wonders every day. I love you, I love reading the letters and emails you send. Even when I cannot find the time to respond (if only I could hoard time the way my companion hoards candies. I have not found him once without some goodie in his pocket. He's like Willie Wonka), know that they are received with love and joy.
Merry Christmas again,
~Elder Jorgensen