COMPANION: ELDER COLLETT
Yesterday something peculiar happened. We asked one of our pretty standard questions,"How has Jesus Christ blessed your life?" This comes from our standard questions bag. Other occupants of this bag include, "What would it mean to you to have a prophet on the earth? Where do you believe we were before our births? How do you find peace in your life? How do you find the strength to change and improve? What do you like best about church?" Anyway, I have already gotten off my thread of thought. A thin thread I fear it is.
A thin thread of thought,
A wire of wistfulness,
That's all that I've got!
Alright, I think with that disclaimer in mind we can all continue. We asked this question to a sweet young family, all of whom answered sincerely and with the poignancy and depth that a testimony, even a fledgling testimony, of our Savior Jesus Christ brings. Then the peculiar bit happened. The 12 year old girl asked us, "How has He blessed yours?
I've asked that question maybe a thousand times the last four months.
No one has ever asked it back.
I gave an answer inadequate, but in the interim I have pondered it more. So I'd like to focus for our moment together today on how Jesus Christ has blessed my life.
But first some stories!
I am covered in bug bites. Don't bother wasting your money on bug spray, I could soak in the bathtub in Raid every morning and still the bites would come. I don't remember a time when every portion of each appendage did not itch. So I made a game. Every time I itch a bite, I recite a scripture in my mind. I have never been more spiritual in my entire life!
I tried to teach the Plan of Salvation in Spanish. It went alright. I don't know how to say even "The Plan of Salvation" in Spanish, so there was a bit of improv now and then. At one point I was communicating exclusively with hand gestures and my facial expressions. I think my companion almost fell out of his chair laughing.
One investigator told us she would only read the Book of Mormon if we came to church with her Wednesday night. So we went. Goodness gracious. It was an experience. Our investigator is now reading 3 Ne.11.
Oh I got stuck under a house the other day! We were doing the wiring and I got stuck between a beam and the ground as I crawled around. Had to dig myself out.
We mowed some lawns and volunteered at a local charity and did our best to go about doing good. The weather has been beautiful. It's pretty fantastic being a missionary. You just wander around and try and find people who will let you help them. We have air conditioning, food, families who love us, and no responsibilities. It's the life, for sure. I'm petitioning for casual Fridays though. We'll see how that goes.
I have kind of a lot of thoughts about Jesus Christ. I'm sure you do too. Some people don't and we're accustomed to saying, "That's alright!" But it isn't alright, not really. I don't mean that in a judgmental way, but in a concerned way, the way I might respond if someone said they don't eat most days. He ought to be thought of, and about, and for, and on. "Think about Jesus" is the prescription for most of the ills that haunt our humanity. I had hoped story time would give me a chance to organize my thoughts. Unfortunately, their resistance to all attempts at organization have proven quite heroic.
Ah well.
My Jesus
It is unpleasant to contemplate my nature devoid of the influence of Jesus Christ, but a superficial examination, at the least, is important in recognizing all that Jesus Christ has done for me. Without Him, I am insatiable. I have a desperate hunger for more of everything all the time. There has never been a trophy big enough, or a diploma rare enough, or a compliment sincere enough, or a mountain steep enough, or a speed fast enough, or a fall far enough, to fill this need for more wound through my very soul. But my Jesus fills me up. Jesus Christ has given me satisfaction, and saved me from a lifetime spent in a torturous search for a finite sustenance for my infinite soul. That living water was out of my reach forever, but He gave it to me. Because of Him, I can have fulfillment.
Without Him, I am restless. No matter where I am, I need to be somewhere else. No matter what I am doing, there is another task calling for me, gnawing at me. No matter who I am with, some other person demands the attention of my heart. These needs and demands and gnawings, real or imagined, have been, to me, immutable. But Jesus Christ has done away with such things. My anxiety and racing thoughts and gypsy soul have found root, and harbor, and rest. He gave them to me and they could not be found anywhere else. His purpose, when mine, transforms my fruitless fretfulness to endeavors of ultimate significance.
I love Him. I love Him for all that He is. But to know what He is we must see what He does. To know what He is for me, I must know what He does for me.
He brightens my mind. I have been confronted, briefly, with the limits of my own innate cognitive abilities. They were so constricting that the impression that remains with me is one of intense claustrophobia as real and as terrifying as that which struck me underneath the house this week in the story I related earlier. Jesus Christ has allowed me to receive the Holy Ghost, the medium by which all truth is understood. Jesus Christ, therefore, has given me knowledge, wisdom, and understanding (such as mine is) and freed my mind of it's wretched shackles. Pity the agoraphobe who fears such an open cosmos throbbing with thought. Jesus Christ has given me wings. Jesus Christ has conquered my fear of heights so that I would accept those wings! So many do not. So many shall.
My Jesus has given me life! Without Him only death and decay await this mortal frame. My Jesus hath given me light! He has supplied peace. He has given growth! Growth is, perhaps, the dearest gift to me. I am no Creator. I am as subject to that wretched law of science which hurtles all energy and matter towards the disorder and chaos of entropy as any being in existence. There is no growth or learning or progression possible without my Jesus! Things cannot become more structured and powerful than they already are without Him! This doctrine is proclaimed from the pulpits of those cathedrals of physics itself! My Jesus allows me to be more tomorrow than I am today. He has sealed me to my family, and their love I owe to Him. He has even condescended to distill His majesty into a portion of which I may partake, and the joy I feel at such a privilege as to learn of Him I owe His mercy, His thoughtful love, and His grace.
My Jesus has been by my side every moment of my life and so I have never been alone. In spite of all my awkwardness and ignorance of the desirability of various social behaviors, He has given me companionship, fellowship, and friendship every day of my life.
No one can do what Jesus has done for me. Every gift He has given has been absolutely unique. To suggest they flow from some other fount is preposterous. Don't laugh it's the perfect word for what I'm thinking. I briefly contemplated "bulimic balderdash at best" in it's place but I have had my share of fun with alliterations already in this letter and even I laughed at that one. Jesus Christ lets me laugh. Every smile and chuckle and snicker and smirk and chortle and cackle and euphoric burst is possible in me because of the cares He lifted, the sorrows He resolved, the tears He dried and the breath He lends.
I could not list, in all the P-Days of all the missionaries in all the missions there have ever been, all that Jesus Christ has done for me. I ask with Alma that He will have mercy, and trust that He will redeem my soul as He did Nephi's. He has given me commandments to keep, brothers and sisters to love, and work to do. How grateful I am for the work! He could do it Himself in the blink of an eye, but with such wonderful wisdom and love He permits that I become engaged and learn thereby. He even permits that I make mistakes for which He must suffer, so that I may learn. He even allows that I walk, at His expense, by faith, when knowledge would be effortless for Him to bestow. I thank God I have not seen Him. I thank God one day I will.
This is Jesus Christ, of whom the prophets spake. He has done so much for me. I have seen His hand in my life every day. I testify of Him and of all that is His with His name, which I will say one more time, the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
My Jesus and I had a phenomenal week. The next one will be better.
~Elder Jorgensen
P.S. For Mom: I don't know about this mom! Hehehee feel free to edit it if I sound... well... off. I am a bit off! Off to do the work! Anyway, I love you. We're going to go shopping. I'll write more soon.
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