Sometimes I wonder what I really do as a missionary. I was walking
down the street the other day, and it was pouring rain, for about the
7th time that day (the storm blew over us and then the wind changed
direction and brought it back... All day. And we were tracting. For
five hours) just wandering around, knocking on doors, saying whatever
I felt like saying to whomever I felt like talking to. And apparently
it was incredibly successful, but I wondered, what was I doing? Just
trying to give away happiness.
“Earth gets its price from what Earth gives us;
The beggar is taxed for a corner to die in. …
We bargain for the graves we lie in;
At the devil’s booth are all things sold,
Each ounce of dross costs its ounce of gold;
For a cap and bells our lives we pay,
Bubbles we buy with a whole soul’s tasking.
For ’tis heaven alone that is given away,
’Tis only God may be had for the asking. …”
(“The Vision of Sir Launfal,” Stanza 3.)
Nothing is free, except for everything that matters. Nothing matters,
except for that which makes us free.
One thing I AM doing is learning. Yearning and learning.
“Four things a man must learn to do,
If he would make a record true,
To think without confusion clearly,
To love his fellowmen sincerely,
To act from honest motives purely,
To trust in God and heaven securely.”
~Henry Van Dyke
My thinking is confused, for sure. But I do sincerely love. I love
these people! They are smart and successful and hard-working and
fast-paced. They feel deeply, they are raw, they are generous and
kind. They are demanding. They are powerful. They are clear-eyed and
creative and passionately engaged. They are exciting. And every single
one of them belongs in his Church.
"I bear you my witness that there isn’t a man or a woman in this world
who really loves the Lord with all their heart who wouldn’t join this
church if they would just take time to find out what it is, for I know
that it is God’s eternal truth."
~LeGrand Richards
And that's why I'm here. That's why I came. Because I know it isn't a
church for Americans or Utahns or the middle class or people who like
reading. One thing people say to us a lot when we knock on their door
is, "Oh, we're not Mormons." And we say, "We know. That's why we're
here!"
Sometimes people don't like that very much. Occasionally people yell
and chase and whatnot. One man this week called the police on us. He
was riding his golf cart down the road, saw us, and took most of the
rest of his afternoon to threaten, complain, and harass. The officer
who came liked us quite a bit, let the golf cart man know that we were
not, in fact, soliciting, and the golf cart man went on his merry way.
It was a little frightening, honestly, having this man threaten and
rail, and having the police come. It was a little frightening to keep
right on knocking. But that's how we do it. We do not doubt, and we do
not fear.
"The standard of truth has been erected; no unhallowed hand can stop
the work from progressing, persecutions may rage, mobs may combine,
armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the truth of God will go
forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every
continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in
every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the
great Jehovah shall say the work is done”
~Joseph Smith
Sometimes, in spite of everything, in spite of all my ridiculous
weaknesses, I find pride lurking in my heart. PRIDE! In ME! In all my
absurdity, in all my weakness, in the miracles I am engulfed by every
day, still I find a moment to be proud. Still I make the time for
arrogance. How can it be?? Perhaps I grow lax in my awareness of the
magnificence of my calling, and begin to slip into attributing some of
that glory to myself.
Pride is enmity between men. When we attribute our glory to God,
enmity between men ceases. When our object is the Kingdom, suddenly
all mankind is our partner. We are teammates with EVERYONE, and every
success is a joy to us! What a wonder that would be! Freedom from
pride is happiness indeed. Every advance, every success, every
achievement and progression and love and light and laugh is your own.
It should be so easy, particularly for me. If only humility was in any
way connected to destitution. I'd be guaranteed! Oh remember, Helaman
says. Remember remember
Far-called, our navies melt away;
On dune and headland sinks the fire--
Lo, all our pomp of yesterday
Is one with Nineveh and Tyre!
Judge of the Nations, spare us yet
Lest we forget--lest we forget!
~Rudyard Kipling
We worked very hard. Tommy came to church. Our ward is piloting a new
fellowship program for the mission, which puts us into contact with
the stake presidency and the high council... a lot. President has
expressed concern that I'm up for it! Which is fair. Sometimes I'm
concerned I'm up for even putting my pants on straight! So, you know,
I pray. But can I tell you the secret to happiness? Can I tell you the
secret to strength?
All strength is a gift. None of it is ours. The Lord lends it to us to
accomplish His purposes. What a wonderful Lord He is. What a merciful
Father. And so the secret to strength is to devote oneself to the
accomplishment of His purposes.
Happiness, it turns out, is a choice, and a commandment. We are
instructed to choose to be happy. Sometimes it is hard to make that
choice. Sometimes it is hard to follow through. Sometimes I would
rather be lazy, or entertained, or excited, or asleep, than happy. But
we are commanded to be happy! It's important to live life in such a
way that that commandment is simple for us, but no coercion of
circumstance can replace the power of choice. Only wickedness makes it
impossible to choose happiness.
Happy, and strong, that's what I pray for. Prayer is important. Prayer
can be grand.
O God, our Eternal Father, Thou great Judge of the Nations, Thou who
art the governor of the universe, Thou who art our Father and our God,
whose children we are, we look to Thee in faith in this dark and
solemn time. Please, dear Father, bless us with faith. Bless us with
love. Bless us with charity in our hearts. Bless us with a spirit of
perseverance to root out the terrible evils that are in this world.
Give protection and guidance to those who are engaged actively in
carrying forth the things of battle. Bless them; preserve their lives;
save them from harm and evil. Hear the prayers of their loved ones for
their safety. We pray for the great democracies of the earth which
Thou hast overseen in creating their governments, where peace and
liberty and democratic processes obtain. O Father, look with mercy
upon this, our own nation, and its friends in this time of need. Spare
us and help us to walk with faith ever in Thee and ever in Thy Beloved
Son, on whose mercy we count and to whom we look as our Savior and our
Lord. Bless the cause of peace and bring it quickly to us again, we
humbly plead with Thee, asking that Thou wilt forgive our arrogance,
pass by our sins, be kind and gracious to us, and cause our hearts to
turn with love toward Thee. We humbly pray in the name of Him who
loves us all, even the Lord Jesus Christ, our Redeemer and our Savior,
amen.
~President Gordon B. Hinckley, closing remarks in the first conference
after the 9/11 attacks.
I will be here. I will be praying. I met some wonderful people this
week. And I got some good advice. We found and messaged (via Facebook)
an Elder who had been extremely successful in this area a couple of
years ago. We asked him for the secret. His advice was: "Make certain
the people know how much you love them."
I love you. I love you because we are Brothers and Sisters. I love you
enough to leave for a little while so that we can be together forever.
I love you because you are bright and evolving and beautiful and
glorious and grand. I love you because you listen, and because you
love me. I love your weakness, just as I love my master's scars. I
love your imperfections, exactly as much as I love my Savior's grace.
I love your letters, I love your thoughts. I love you. And I love Him.
I testify of my Savior, and bear my meager witness of His name. I am
not an Apostle, but I am an apostle, and I have a witness to share. He
is indeed Wonderful. He is the Counselor. Omega and Alpha. A Fortress.
A Solace. He is the Light, the Resurrection, the Life. He is Prince of
Peace and Lord of Lords. He is the Father of my Spirit. He is God. He
is the Son. He is the Creator. Mediator. Advocate. Friend. He is the
Messiah, the Christ, the Hope of Israel and the Mighty One. Jehovah.
Only Begotten. Rabboni. Beloved. Everlasting. Master. To know His name
is to know Him. I am learning. I will try.
For now my name is Elder. I like my name. I worked HARD for my name.
My name is Elder Jorgensen, and I have a witness, borne to my eternal
soul by the incomparable power of the Holy Spirit of God, that Jesus
is the Christ, that the Book of Mormon is true and divine, and that
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord's kingdom
once again established upon the earth, preparatory to the second
coming of the Messiah. In the name, the cherished, sacred name, of
Jesus Christ, Amen.
~Elder Jorgensen