COMPANION/FLORIDA TRAINER: ELDER TUFT
A week of wonder!!! Goodness gracious where to begin.
Well hello. James and Carrie accepted a baptism date for the end of March. Tito has decided he knows the gospel is true. We are teaching two more families this week than last week. I have been led by the spirit to needles in haystacks and found the wondrous treasure of spiritually prepared sons and daughters of the Father.
But all the investigators and miracles would fill more libraries than
I can count, and certainly more time than you have! So I'll content
myself with a thought.
We have a PROPHET.
He is not a book or a page or an idea or a wish. There is a man living
in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains who is a prophet of God as much
as Isaiah or Daniel or any other. He speaks with GOD. He leads the
Kingdom on the Earth. And he is building temples. Dozens. Scores.
HUNDREDS of temples across every nation and continent on this planet
populated by millions and millions of members. Temples of God where we
worship, where we perform ordinances for the dead. Where we receive
blessings the rest of the human family cannot even imagine.
Today I thought of this as if for the first time. I was driving to
Jacksonville with my new iPad in tow, a cellphone in one pocket and my
church debit card in the other. I reek of technology and privilege.
And then a song came on the stereo about a convert to the church
hearing, I. The dark streets of Dublin, that somewhere, somehow, the
heavens had been opened again, new scripture had been found, temples
were being built, and the kingdom was being established by a man they
called the Prophet.
Can you IMAGINE???
I can. It isn't hearing it, but the first time you BELIEVE it, the
first time you think those thoughts and accept them... Oh my goodness.
A Prophet. An end to doubt and fear and confusion and darkness. A
kingdom. An end to emperor, to war, to tyrants, to walls. And
temples... Hundreds of temples...
This is the message. This is the work. There is no other. Everything
we do either adds to or takes from this glorious building on the
kingdom. Everything that adds is a prayer, a holy sacrifice, a marvel
and a wonder. Whether it's a family outing or soccer practice or a
humble meal of beans and rice that you snatch between teaching
appointments in the glorious Gainesville 3C area. Anything that
detracts is just... empty. And sad.
Well it is time to go. I love you all. We have a prophet. We have a
temple. The heavens are open. Scripture pours forth. What a wonderful
world.
Don't tell anyone, but I hope the USA gets more medals than Russia.
Olympic Gold!!!!!
Okay but really it's time to go.
-Elder Jorgensen
Letters Home
To Grandad:
Another week come and gone. Goodness they fly by. I am glad you are
doing well in your work. I actually just finished the Isaiah chapters
in the Book of Mormon this week!!!! For me, Isaiah is the prophet of
hope. The message I receive is that the good in the world will be
rewarded deeply and absolutely. Gathered like sheep, loved even when
flawed, cared for, remembered, protected, known. Isaiah speaks often
in the first-person of the Savior. Jesus knows us! He thinks of us! He
cares for us. We are important to him and he loves it when we do good!
There are promises rich in beauty awaiting even the most humble of His
followers. The gorgeous poetry and chiasmus accentuate the piercing
power of the promises for the righteous, and the whole effect is
highlighted by the contrast of the consideration of the fate of the
evil of this world. Isaiah tells us wickedness is not happiness, sin
is not success. That which is evil will be eradicated, obliterated,
annihilated. There will be not a drop remaining when our battle is
done, when our battle is won.
That's what Isaiah meant to me, this time around at least. Hope. Hope
that he righteous will have more than they can imagine, and will be
free from the burden of darkness. Free at last. There is much on
charity and faith throughout the standard works, but no one does Hope
like Isaiah.
I love you. Mom told me you made an incredibly generous donation to my
mission fund. I was a left a little breathless by the sum. Thank you
so much for that. I hope to be the sort of man you are. I hope the
kindness and generosity will prove to be hereditary. You are such an
example to me.
I love you.
To Kent:
Every week we see miracles like those. Every week!!!!! I can't even
keep track of them. The field is white, already to harvest. If I wrotethem all, I wouldn't have time to go out and be used by Lord to effect
more! It is awe-inspiring. I love being in your heart. It makes it so
much easier to be so far away when I know that you and the family are
having so much fun, and remembering me as you do.
Dad there is a PROPHET!!! He's building temples to God and
communicating with Him on a daily basis!!!!!!! After millennia of
isolation and silence the work of God has penetrated every continent,
visited every clime, swept every nation, and is sounding in every
year. The Kingdom of God is built, expands, and is anchored by
MILLIONS. We are sons of GOD! He knows our names. We're going to see
Him. There is a prophet, and a temple, and new scripture, and Holy
Priesthood.
How could we be so lucky? I love you. Sigh. Very much. I will see you
so soon!!! Never quite soon enough though. What's your favorite way to
eat rice? I eat it a lot.
******
YES! "Forget yourself" was the best advice I could have gotten! Because how can you love others if you are so filled with yourself? How can you appreciate their performance if you are hogging the leading roles of your own mind?? Turn out your blinding lights if you wish to watch their stars shine bright! Thank you. You are so fantastic with people. Elder Tuft and I are extremely strong together. He even played Take Two with me this week! Hehehe, made me miss you.
I love you.
To Mom:
I just decided to love him. It may have been charity, it may have been Stockholm syndrome. But once I found out how he felt, and that a change was necessary, I prayed. Prayed and prayed for help and love. To love everything, every facet of the diamond. If the savior can love me that way then everyone deserves it!!!! Certainly I am least.
It worked pretty well. One day later he began to confide in me, and had me give a training in District Meeting. A day after that he teared up during a soul-baring conversation. It kind of skyrocketed from there. By the end of the week he was telling me he loved me, teaching me everything he could about being in a leadership position because he was recommending I be put in one. He called the mission President and told him I don't need training and should be given special permission to become a Facebook missionary. The request was granted, by the way, so I will be deactivating my old Facebook sometime this week. Please post a status letting people know that it will be inactive until I return from my mission. Anyway, Elder Tuft and I are now very, very close.
Sigh. And yesterday I found out I am being transferred out of the area. Wednesday the 19th. Can I give you a little timeline?
End of June, 2013- Submit Mission papers
Six weeks later, arrive in Valley Center
Six weeks later, arrive in Temecula
Six weeks later, return home
Six weeks later, arrive in Provo
Three weeks later, arrive in Gainesville
Six weeks later, arrive in ?
A year of transitions. I'm pretty tired Mama. I'm not great at transitions. But let's compare and contrast.
I was broken. I slept 18 hours a day. I kept a chart of times I left the house in a day and gave myself prizes if the weekly average got to 1. I got lost walking to class and laid down in a field and could not remember my name. I was told I could not serve a mission, get married, or even work, and the psychiatrist I'd been working with for nearly a year offered to help me get out on Social Security. Between the medications and supplements, at one point I was swallowing more than two dozen pills a day. I was so bad at interacting with people I slept all day to avoid even mealtime conversation. I played video games constantly because it was the only place in the whole world where I could accomplish even the most trivial task, and the feeling of accomplishment I would get from the completion of some minor challenge in Plants vs. Zombies was the relief I could find from the absolute cessation of forward movement that is e definition of damnation. Church attendance was often limited to listening to the prelude music and then returning home to collapse into bed or watch a tv show to stave off the terrible feeling that I had done nothing ever. The physical pain was constant and consistently debilitating. Even a year ago, the Family History Center was so stressful I had to prepare and brace myself for days prior, and on a vacation to San Francisco I needed a full day of rest and recuperation between such strenuous events as attending a basketball game, or going to an art museum. A week before I left for Provo, watching two movies in the movie theatre had me so emotionally and socially exhausted I thought I was going to fall asleep driving home.
And NOW. Mama now... I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I travel continents declaring His word. Food and sleep and rest are a pleasant garnish, to be discarded as needed to accomplish a glorious work. Every morning I study without interruption for hours. Jesus the Christ became my light reading. Church and the meetings that accompany it last nearly seven hours a week, and it is the most relaxed part of my most relaxed day of the week. Bikes, cars, freezing temperatures, driving rain, baking humidity, service at carnivals or aggressive dogs or spiritual discussions or mighty prayers run together in one constant scene of enabling grace. I sleep and eat at exactly scheduled times. I exercise daily. My physical needs are 100% taken care of and my soul is filled. At the drop of a hat I can develop relationships deep enough to teach, in harmony, the gospel of Jesus Christ to the nations at the drop of a hat with other missionaries as different from each other as they are from me. I work 16 hour days, 7 days a week.
I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I have been called of Him to declare His word among His people, that they might have everlasting life.
LIFE Mama. Life is the message we share and the promise that I have seen realized in my own existence. I don't know how long the strength will last. Perhaps forever! Perhaps not. Without it, leaving my room once a day is an exciting achievement! With it, there is glory. I glory in plainness. I glory in truth. I glory in my Jesus, for he hath redeemed my soul from hell.
I have hated remembering the past for so long, but now, cleansed by the Atonement, it only makes my present sweeter. I have abhorred thoughts of the future for the fear they bring. Now, enabled by my Jesus, there is only adventure.
And you are so right: Christlike attributes are a GIFT (Preach My Gospel page 115 last paragraph)! We work so hard to earn them, but really all we are doing is showing our appreciation for them. There's no way to get them on our own. They are given, my life is given, and after the burden of an existence, I am so intensely grateful.
I am pretty tired mama, and I'm in some pretty pain. Sometimes I cannot see well enough to read signs. Sometimes I cannot move my hands well enough to write down names. Sometimes I cannot sit up straight. Sometimes I fall. But I never stop smiling. Never. I smile at people, at doors, at letters, at dogs, at inanimate objects and angry faces. I can't stop. I won't stop.
So yes, I love it here! And only get to stay a few more days. I have an iPad now and at is pretty freaking fun. Thank you so much for the money. I probably will not spend it in the next two years. I will just carry it around as a constant reminder of your love and constant support of me in so many ways I could never ever deserve. You are too generous. You are too kind. I love you.
Elder Jorgensen
Letter #2
I love it when you send me people's responses. As far as I know, no one reads these things, so it feels good to know they're doing good for people.
*****
Nope Mama, even when I was home and I'd get frustrated with you or hurt I would smile to myself knowing that those things were about as much of an obstacle to our relationship as the wall of a sandcastle is to an ocean. Maybe it gets thrown up in a moment of childish indulgence, but give it a second or two and see what lasts. I try to avoid unrealistic expectations. Post-mission me may be a lot like current-mission me, which is probably pretty much identical to pre-mission me. Just expanded capacity. But one thing that is different is my appreciation for things, especially my immediate family. Wow. Y'all are solid.
Hehehe. I love you. I didn't get any mail this week, and I'm being transferred so I wouldn't send anything this week or it mig not get here in time (P-Day is Tuesday because of transfers next week so don't panic when I don't write on Monday. I'm fine. You know, probably.) But I'm excited to laugh about this mysterious package! I still use the frankincense every day, by the way. It makes me think of you and smile.
You work so hard!!!!!! Goodness!!!!!! Hey I am gluten free too! Beans and rice, oats and almond milk, frozen vegetables and chicken breasts. Whatever fruit I can afford. Those are my meals! Jealous much?
Oh Elder Tuft gave me a haircut! Between the shaved face and short hair, investigators think I'm in High School. Hehehee, can't decide how I feel about that.
Cassidy broke her wrist walking through the front door. That makes me so sad and laugh so hard at the same time. I cannot believe it is Valentine's Day!!!!!!! Hey you want to know something crazy? On Wednesday, it will have been 6 months since I was set apart as a missionary. Six months. Wow.
Um that attic sounds AMAZING. It is going to be ten million degrees in the summer. That trapdoor/tunnel is the stuff of fairy tales. I get excited even thinking about it. Make sure it's big enough for me to use!!!!!! So COOL!
Elder Tuft and I were talking about. FHE. He asked me what it was like in my family. I basically bore testimony of you and your dedication to FHE and family meetings. He was amazed afterwards he sat there for a second, contemplating, and said, "I can't even imagine what that would have done for my family..." I could see the longing, the hunger, in his eyes for what you and Daddy gave and are giving to me and the girls in those marathon meetings. It was so humbling. Keep at it!!!! Don't let those darn naysayers convince you to make FHE only an hour!! (: It sounds wonderful.
Your family missionary stories are my favorite. It is so cool to know you are being blessed with those opportunities and have the faithfulness to take advantage of them. The scriptures are RIFE with promised blessings for missionaries. Knowing our family will get those blessings helps me to trust the Lord to take care of the people I love most during this brief (but probably longest of our mortal lives. You're not escaping me without Christmas visits and vacations to Grandma's house EVER. Muhaha.) physical separation.
Goodness I have a testimony of blessings. I stopped keeping track of how many times I have had the opportunity to be the Voice of God in a blessing. Twice just one day last week and the next day I was EXHAUSTED. At the end of the day I just collapsed on the floor and went to sleep fully clothed. It was the best kind of spiritual exhaustion I have ever felt.
It makes an enormous difference to know that you appreciate all that this mission is to me. I LOVED your chiasmus! So impressive!!! I try to be kind to my body. It causes me such pain mama. Blinding, excruciating, invasive. Sigh. But love your enemy, right??
Hehehehe I had a thought similar to that in the MTC when it surfaced that I was the only one in the zone that did not have a "significant other" writing them. No one called me, "my missionary" and the thought made me kind of sad. Then I realized, someone does call me "my missionary". Someone thinks of me that way, someone communicates and uses me that way. I am so grateful that He does. I love Him so, so much. What a glorious Valentines Day we will have.
Love you.