COMPANION: ELDER COLLETT
Hello! I have been transferred. I am now in Stark, Lake City. It is a little bit north of where I was before; still in North-Eastern Florida, but much more out in the country. A new transfer means new goals and new plans! Here are mine:
1) Memorize a scripture a day.
2) Sing a hymn with every meal.
3) Offer an hourly prayer.
4) Keep a gratitude journal in my pocket and add to it throughout the day whenever the fancy find me.
5) Bring a tangible token to the Lord every night as an offering for your day. It can be a journal entry, or a gratitude list, or a penny you found heads-up while you did His work, or a picture of one of His children that you helped to smile that day, or the calluses on your knuckles from another thousand doors knocked. It needn't be gold or myrrh, but offer a gift to the Christ-child anew.
6) Smile every time you notice you are not.
7) Remember each person within your stewardship (investigators and potential investigators for me, perhaps family or co-workers or cub scouts for you) by face and name each day.
8) Spend at least one moment pretending you are the person you wish to be. Notice how it feels. Notice what the world is like. Relish it. Love it.
1) Memorize a scripture a day.
2) Sing a hymn with every meal.
3) Offer an hourly prayer.
4) Keep a gratitude journal in my pocket and add to it throughout the day whenever the fancy find me.
5) Bring a tangible token to the Lord every night as an offering for your day. It can be a journal entry, or a gratitude list, or a penny you found heads-up while you did His work, or a picture of one of His children that you helped to smile that day, or the calluses on your knuckles from another thousand doors knocked. It needn't be gold or myrrh, but offer a gift to the Christ-child anew.
6) Smile every time you notice you are not.
7) Remember each person within your stewardship (investigators and potential investigators for me, perhaps family or co-workers or cub scouts for you) by face and name each day.
8) Spend at least one moment pretending you are the person you wish to be. Notice how it feels. Notice what the world is like. Relish it. Love it.
Some fun goals. Change and new beginnings can be stressful sometimes. I bet birth was pretty stressful. But they needn't be. It's all just part of one thing; our eternal life.
"Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting;
The soul that rises with us, our life's star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting.
And cometh from afar;
Not in entire forgetfulness,
"Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting;
The soul that rises with us, our life's star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting.
And cometh from afar;
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home."
-William Wordsworth "Intimations of Immortality"
I'm feeling like this is all a little preachy. Story time!!!
Jessica agreed to meet with us in the freezing cold and wind. I huddled up in my giant snowcoat, teaching the first lesson with blue lips alongside a companion who didn't speak intelligible english (my regular companion was at the temple in Orlando for the day) wondering how Jessica could possibly focus on what we were saying when I'm sure I looked like a frozen bundle of San Diego pansy. Well she committed to be baptized on March 29th.
Speaking of people committing to be baptized on March 29th, we have 4. Jessica we taught this week but her story is not the most ridiculous. The MOST ridiculous story belongs to Ally. We were out looking for a referral and I knocked on a door. Well that door stayed very closed, but the door next to it swung open, just about giving me a heart attack. It had been a long day, I was yet again without my companion (exchanges/splits for the evening), and it was pretty late at night. So I just leaned against the doorpost and started teaching the first lesson, casual as you like. We talked and talked and talked some more, weaving our way through all kinds of material from the Great Apostasy to the purpose of life. Long story short, Ally is excited to read Alma 32 and we will see her consistently, including tonight, as she prepares herslef for baptism at the end of March.
We didn't even knock on her door! We didn't even get into her house. But she testified of the spirit as we shared the first vision, she eagerly asked for a copy of the wonderful book that we carried, she offered the closing prayer in a sincere and beautiful way, and she didn't seem to mind that the young man she was speaking to needed to be propped up by her doorframe to stay upright! Hehehe, the Lord has some fun I think. Some fun doing incredible things with ridiculous tools.
"You may have riches and wealth untold,
Baskets of jewels and caskets of gold,
But richer than I, you never will be
For I had a mother who read to me"
-William Wordsworth "Intimations of Immortality"
I'm feeling like this is all a little preachy. Story time!!!
Jessica agreed to meet with us in the freezing cold and wind. I huddled up in my giant snowcoat, teaching the first lesson with blue lips alongside a companion who didn't speak intelligible english (my regular companion was at the temple in Orlando for the day) wondering how Jessica could possibly focus on what we were saying when I'm sure I looked like a frozen bundle of San Diego pansy. Well she committed to be baptized on March 29th.
Speaking of people committing to be baptized on March 29th, we have 4. Jessica we taught this week but her story is not the most ridiculous. The MOST ridiculous story belongs to Ally. We were out looking for a referral and I knocked on a door. Well that door stayed very closed, but the door next to it swung open, just about giving me a heart attack. It had been a long day, I was yet again without my companion (exchanges/splits for the evening), and it was pretty late at night. So I just leaned against the doorpost and started teaching the first lesson, casual as you like. We talked and talked and talked some more, weaving our way through all kinds of material from the Great Apostasy to the purpose of life. Long story short, Ally is excited to read Alma 32 and we will see her consistently, including tonight, as she prepares herslef for baptism at the end of March.
We didn't even knock on her door! We didn't even get into her house. But she testified of the spirit as we shared the first vision, she eagerly asked for a copy of the wonderful book that we carried, she offered the closing prayer in a sincere and beautiful way, and she didn't seem to mind that the young man she was speaking to needed to be propped up by her doorframe to stay upright! Hehehe, the Lord has some fun I think. Some fun doing incredible things with ridiculous tools.
"You may have riches and wealth untold,
Baskets of jewels and caskets of gold,
But richer than I, you never will be
For I had a mother who read to me"
A random quote. A true quote. Here's another one!
"The size of a man may be measured by the size of the things that make him angry."
Sometimes a dearth of context is a gift. It allows the spirit in which our experiences are mulled to be unadulteratedly our own. There is no real context for a mission. Everything about mission life, from the location to the dynamic to the work to the food, is 100% different from past or future. As I soak it all in as best I can, I hope I am becoming flavorful.
The best part is, if the fruit of your works is too good, then the Lord will ask for seconds! Hehehe, maybe I'll get to serve here forever. That would be nice. Particularly now that it is WARM!
Well I love you. I am having a grand old time. I love it when you send me your comments or questions or thoughts or just stories from your lives, I need it when you include me in your fasting and prayers. I have gained a sincere testimony of prayer. It works. It comes with a satisfaction garauntee.
"The standard of truth has been erected. No unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing. Persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the work of God will go forth boldy, nobly, and independent, until it has penetrated every continent, visited ever clime, swept ever country, and sounded in every ear. Until the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the great Jehovah shall say, 'The work is done.'"
That's the point. That's what I'm working towards. I love you.
~Elder Jorgensen
The best part is, if the fruit of your works is too good, then the Lord will ask for seconds! Hehehe, maybe I'll get to serve here forever. That would be nice. Particularly now that it is WARM!
Well I love you. I am having a grand old time. I love it when you send me your comments or questions or thoughts or just stories from your lives, I need it when you include me in your fasting and prayers. I have gained a sincere testimony of prayer. It works. It comes with a satisfaction garauntee.
"The standard of truth has been erected. No unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing. Persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the work of God will go forth boldy, nobly, and independent, until it has penetrated every continent, visited ever clime, swept ever country, and sounded in every ear. Until the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the great Jehovah shall say, 'The work is done.'"
That's the point. That's what I'm working towards. I love you.
~Elder Jorgensen
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Letters Home
Hi mama.
Sorry, last one got sent very early! Anyway, Stark, Lake City, Elder Colette will be my new companion, whoever he is. I'll let you know my physical address as soon as I know it. ……...
My favorite food is beans and rice. Well, fruit is better, but I eat a LOT of beans and rice. Quinoa and beans are even better! Yum.
I'm trying to relax. Transitions are tough.
It sounds like you are going on the most glorious vacation ever!!!! What a fun road-trip! I hope when I get home I will be up for family road trips. I have hope for a lot of things. Real hope. Expectation. Assurance.
Hey I love you. I am so proud of all that you do. Being in that play sounds amazing and I know piano is a beautiful dream. I cannot wait for you to play for me! Maybe I can sing along or something when you do.
I honestly don't even remember this week. I've been a missionary or a missionary in waiting for 6 months, two months in this mission as of today, a transfer in the field. Sigh. A very little bit of a very lot bit of service. I am trying very very very hard to change. To be better. To be the sort of person that I want to want to be. But life is long right? Baby steps are okay? People are nice. All sorts of people have committed to be baptized. This week Elder Tuft and I got the highest numbers in the recorded history of the area we are in. It would be fun to stick around and see it happen. It would be fun to eat some cookies too. I had some Ritz crackers and my body chastised me thoroughly afterwards.
Hehehe, I am happy here. I work very very hard. You'd be so proud. And that's much more of a wonderful feeling than I deserve. I'm going to switch over to a computer from the iPad so I'll send this even though there is always more to say. Drive safe! Love you.
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Well, I have more time.
I just love hearing from you and Daddy and the girls. It's so much fun for me. I'm only to focus on the positives in my letters, but I love it when I hear from you the whole picture. Of broken wrists right alongisde wonderful road trips. Makes me happy. Makes me happy to know you are happy or even sad, as long as life is being lived and stories are being told and things are moving. Makes me happy to know everything is growing, even when the stage of growth that happens to be occurring is more like purning than blossoming.
You know, I sure like books. I bet I will read them all one day. I am reading every talk given in general conference since 1971 (the first year they have them recorded on our iPads) and marking up the whole standard works and memorizing a thousand scriptures! So far I have read two sessions, marked up through Jacob, and memorized three scriptures. But I will DO IT! So THERE!
Goals are nice. You are nice. Hope your road trip is peculiar. Hope it is powerful. Hope it is hopeful. I love you very much.
Remind the girls about their commitments. Book of Mormon/Pray sincerely and with real intent to know whether it is true, gratitude journal or paper chain or wahtever (paper chain sounds coolest to me) and baptism book. I have more commitments to extend when those are done!
It is time to go. I can't decide whether to treat myself to some fruit today. I will let you know. I probably will. I so very much love fruit. I so very much love you and our glorious family. I glory in them. I glory in plainness; I glory in truth; I glory in my Jesus, for He hath redeemed my soul from hell.
Love,
~Elder Jorgensen
P.S. I know this church is true. NameaJesusChristamen. Hehe, a child's testimony. Pure and simple. All that is needful. Perhaps all we really have.
I just love hearing from you and Daddy and the girls. It's so much fun for me. I'm only to focus on the positives in my letters, but I love it when I hear from you the whole picture. Of broken wrists right alongisde wonderful road trips. Makes me happy. Makes me happy to know you are happy or even sad, as long as life is being lived and stories are being told and things are moving. Makes me happy to know everything is growing, even when the stage of growth that happens to be occurring is more like purning than blossoming.
You know, I sure like books. I bet I will read them all one day. I am reading every talk given in general conference since 1971 (the first year they have them recorded on our iPads) and marking up the whole standard works and memorizing a thousand scriptures! So far I have read two sessions, marked up through Jacob, and memorized three scriptures. But I will DO IT! So THERE!
Goals are nice. You are nice. Hope your road trip is peculiar. Hope it is powerful. Hope it is hopeful. I love you very much.
Remind the girls about their commitments. Book of Mormon/Pray sincerely and with real intent to know whether it is true, gratitude journal or paper chain or wahtever (paper chain sounds coolest to me) and baptism book. I have more commitments to extend when those are done!
It is time to go. I can't decide whether to treat myself to some fruit today. I will let you know. I probably will. I so very much love fruit. I so very much love you and our glorious family. I glory in them. I glory in plainness; I glory in truth; I glory in my Jesus, for He hath redeemed my soul from hell.
Love,
~Elder Jorgensen
P.S. I know this church is true. NameaJesusChristamen. Hehe, a child's testimony. Pure and simple. All that is needful. Perhaps all we really have.
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Guess what? Here, if you write me back, I can reply as long as it's still within the hours of Pday. And email time is unlimited and we have iPads so basically I can just write letters all day if I want. That would get boring though because honestly there isn't a ton to say. But I was writing to Cassi Vick and suddenly this rant came to me so I wrote it all down and wanted to send it to you too. It had nothing to do with the rest of the conversation. But I realized, people might not know that I do, in fact, have dreams. That's not true. Well it is but it doesn't matter to me. I forgot mama. I forgot I had dreams. I didn't remember until just now. I have DREAMS and aspirations and goals and wishes and desires and whims! I forgot. Because who am I to aspire? Who am I to dream? Only a broken vessel. Only a broken child. Only a sinner. Only a debtor. Unable to rise or sleep or wake up or eat or stop eating. Unable to care for myself. But. I can care for others! I care for these people. I care for our family. I have dreams for them. And somehow, it reminded me that I have dreams for me too.
"I want to live in Paris. I want to speak five languages. I want to be a lawyer or a doctor or something with inherent value that no one can take away. I want to graduate from college and from post-college education debt free. I want to go to Harvard and be a famous and influential writer, or orator, or just and influence, be it word or buck or what have you. I want to read the great books of the western world and the religious texts of every major world religion. I want to have a home and wife and children. I want to live near my family. I want to surf and skate and skydive. I want to go on snowboarding trips and watch movie marathons in a hot cabin on the weekends. I want to play rugby again. I love video games but I don't want to LOVE video games because I know they are a waste of time. I want to take a nap in the temple and pet a camel and walk the Via Dolorosa and weep in Gethsemane. I want to walk to a castle in Scotland! I want to see the Louvre and broadway musicals (LOTS) and lose myself in an art museum in Spakn and laugh at Michelangelo's signature carved in the Pieta. I want to run through the Forbidden City and eat gelato and listen to someone with an Irish accent try to explain something complicated while totally wasted. I want to beat the paste out of a piñata and get so,etching GOOD from inside. I want to read every book I've ever wanted to and write a few and find some new ones with dragons in them!!!! I love books about dragons. I want to listen to music all the time and be financially stable and alone enough to relish and value and glory in the company of the people I love so dearly. I want to watch the sunrise from a canoe. I want to go to general conference again. I want to sneeze so hard I fall over. I want to stand on a roof in Seville and try riding a speedboat in Venice and eat pizza in Pisa and weep for the Vatican and march in Boston and watch Frozen in a Norwegian fjord. I want to learn calculus and argue a case in front of an apes late court or even the Supreme Court! I want to work in the White House or at least a skyscraper. I want to be poor and then rich enough to help poor people. I want to eat nothing but fresh fruits for a week. I want to listen to my sisters laugh until their faces turn red because they can't even breathe. I want to remember my life and realize my future. I want to play a grand piano and teach a child to be more than I am. I want to quote scripture all day from memory, and speak nothing else from sunrise to sunset. I want to see Mecca and the Ganges and Giza and Mars Hill. I want to learn the constellations and point them out with stories I made up on the spot. I want to sleep at night with no worry just one time because tomorrow is planned. I want to visit every room in the temple (Salt Lake, San Diego, Navoo and LA) I want to say a prayer in the sacred grove. I want to drive 150 miles an hour. I want to pay my debts and live my life. I want to work hard and succeed. I want more stories than books. I want more learning than information, and more education than learning. I want so many things.
And I want to be a missionary even more. There is nothing I would rather be doing than this, right here, right now. I have dreams Cass, dreams that don't include being broken or sick or insane or disabled or strange. But even if I am to be, there will be no regrets in my life. Because I was a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I know what that means. I know what that entails. And even if it was only for one moment, it would be worth all of the dreams of all of the men of all of the worlds in all of the eons of time."
Some of them are silly. Some of them are huge. I have no idea why I share them with her but I remembered. I had them and had to tell someone! Had to tell everyone!!!! I have been embarrassed by my dreams because the wicked little meanness inside of me laughs at the idea of ever being able to do anything. So I learned to be okay. I still am. Even if all I managed was to make enough money to pay enough rent to live near enough to our family to be around and play games and watch movies and eat fruit that would be fine. That's what most people do right? And I am alright with that for myself. If I were pure and doing my best to come unto Christ, that life would be wonderful.
But. I have DREAMS! Did you know I want to go to Harvard? Did you know I want to change the world? Did you know I want to travel SO very much? To every great city and every Holy Land? Did you know I want to be rich enough to help other people? Did you know I want to take calculus and speak 5 languages and ride a crazy animal (I'm choosing between a giraffe and a Galapagos tortoise. Elephant would be cool. Or eat a peacock!) and have a family and really LIVE? Sigh. It's okay if you didn't. I forgot. But I remember. It's easy to remember those things, because. I have something better. I can aspire to be that because what I am is even greater. A MISSIONARY. Temple worthy. A vessel. An apostle (lowercase a, very important). I am on my way to the CELESTIAL KINGDOM!!!!!! So why not Venice or Istanbul along the way? What is the Sistine Chapel to the temple? What is he overcoming of an escapist mentality to overcoming the natural man? How hard could it be to find books about dragons (I love dragons. I was so sad that the Game of Thrones books turned out to be such vile, evil, filthy smut. I just wanted books with dragons! Dragons are so cool.) when I have new scripture!!! Sigh. I have dreams, but I am already living my dreams come true. For a month. For two months. For more than 6 months now! Incredible. I barely believe it. I keep having to look around as I write this to see whether it has really happened. Whether I am really here.
Hey guess what? I LOVE you. So very much. You are an example to me. You and Dad and your beautiful love. The family and home and missionary work and priorities and treatment of others and SO much. I can't wait to be a part of it FOREVER! Hehehe forever. So very long, but I wonder if it's even enough.
Put my name in the temple please, next time you go. I am working on a lot of things, and struggling with others, and I would very much like the prayers. Particularly at the beginning of this new transition. Sigh. There have been very many transitions. I hope there will always be. Years and years of everything being the same. Gross. Let's be better tomorrow. Let's be different a transfer from now than we were today.
You know I think about my sisters all the time? Hello sisters!!!!!! Do you know how much your brother loves you? Do you know you are all he ever wanted? Do you know you made every day brighter? Do you know you make every tomorrow sweeter? Do you know how desperately I waited for you? Do you know how grateful I am to have you? Do you know how well I know you? Do you know how much I love you? Do you know how sorry I am for not being perfect like you deserve? Do you know how hard I try to be? Do you know how ridiculously proud. I a, of you? Do you know how much FUN I have with you? Do you know how many things I want to do with you? Do you know how many games we are going to play, adventures we are going to have, dance parties we're going to do, songs we are going to share, stories we are going to tell, and worlds we are going to conquer??? Do you know? It will take my whole life to tell you, so I'd better not miss a day. (:
There's just so much to say! I really do need to pack at some point. But no napping! If I nap I wake up hungry and GRUMPY! No one likes a grumpus. Hey mom, I am CRAZY! Hehehe, you don't really notice how crazy you are when you sleep all the time or escape into music or a little world of books or board games or video games or a movie or a swim or something. But when it's just you and one person and you're always up working, you find out just exactly what you are and it turns out all those doctors were right I am NUTS! Like, really, very different and pretty broken. But rice and beans taste better than any cake and ice cream ever did. Knocking doors is more fun than any amusement park ever was! And a new investigator? A lesson taught? A new light in an eye? A testimony borne from a soul that before held only fear?
Oh my goodness. No tongue can tell. Words can do naught but demean. It is otherworldly. It is pure. It is elegance refined incarnate. It is so fiery it passes through and out of me, leaving only a faint impression of majesty as it passes. But I have hope that long exposure to the experience will leave a lasting impression that will chain my wandering heart to Him to whom I owe this wondrous light of life.
Oh it is wonderful. And I shout Alleluia from someplace deeper than my voice. Oh it is wonderful and I glory in my God somehow much deeper than a word. Such a brightness, such a peace, such a hope and an adventure. Such a flight. Such a Word. Such a bright untainted future.
I still fall over. I set a new record for times throwing up while tracting in one afternoon this week (6. Probably best not to tell anyone about that. I picked some oranges from a tree in a no soliciting neighborhood and we hightailed it out of there because Elder Tuft thought someone was calling the police. Maybe best not to tell anyone about that either! I wanted to re-tract a neighborhood, so I got a drastic haircut, wore completely different clothes, and took a different companion every time Elder Tuft was on exchanges. Hehehehe, tell everyone about that! It was awesome. I was like a secret agent! The residents didn't recognize me at all! I mean, I was wearing a name tag so they might have.... Gotta have some fun though. Picked up a ton of return appointments/ new investigators. Did I tell you I saw an actual alligator? I tried to wrestle it. The other missionaries said I was not allowed. I probably would have. I need a nap.) I still lose it. I still forget. I get in trouble sometimes. But I still try. I still stand. I still am here. I am still awake. I am still dreaming. And sometimes, some wonderful times if I try very hard and am so very lucky, I am just still.
That seems like a good place to stop. NO! I have more to say!
You know there's no word for Adieu? One French word in the Book of Mormon. Everything else is translated. Well, there are things here and there. Ziff and Raca and names of stuff and whatnot. But that's all pretty obscure. No word for adieu! No concept for adieu. Does it mean see you soon? Or later? Till we meet again? Love you? Be right back? What was Jacob thinking when he wrote it? What did he express? I don't know. But maybe I am learning. Maybe we know more than we know.
I love you my wonderful, eternal family. Adieu.