weeks ago, Elder Hadfield has returned home, Elder Bao has been
transferred out, and now I am here with Elder Anderson. Four
companions in four weeks. I'm a little sleepy.
Elder Anderson is 20, has been on his mission almost a year, comes
from Sacramento California, and actually started his mission not in
this area, but in the next one over, which is in our district, so he's
familiar with some of the geography and members. That's nice. He wants
to be a robotics engineer after his mission. Tommy's baptism is
scheduled for Saturday. It would be a beautiful thing if you could
remember him at least once in your prayers.
Because of all the transferring craziness (and also trade-offs, and
also getting the car fixed in Jacksonville. Twice.) we have used most
of our miles for the month and are now on bikes. It's great exercise
and I am never chilly. My body seems to think it has the flu or
something, but I am not fooled. Everyone knows missionaries never get
sick! Oh man.
Just for Today
Lord, for tomorrow and its needs,
I do not pray;
Keep me, my God, from stain of sin,
Just for today.
Let me both diligently work,
And duly pray.
Let me be kind in word and deed,
Just for today.
Let me be slow to do my will,
Prompt to obey;
Oh keep me in Thy loving care,
Just for today.
Let me no wrong or idle word,
Unthinking say,
Set Thou a seal upon my lips,
Just for today.
So, for tomorrow and its needs,
I do not pray;
But keep me, guide and love me, Lord,
Just for today.
~Sybil F. Partridge
One step at a time, right? Robert Louis Stevenson is credited with
saying, “Saints are sinners who kept trying."
Let's break down the days.
Monday- PDay! In the evening, two people our age came up to us and
said, "There is something different about you. We have seen you around
here several times, and you are so HAPPY, all the time. We want some
advice from you on the things that make us sad." They brought up
issues with parents, friends, work, and the other things that
generally trouble people. We respond using only what is found in the
sermon on the mount. A visible peace comes over these two friends.
They ask if we teach "lessons on how to be happy". It just so happens
that we do.
Tuesday-We spend the entire morning and afternoon in a tire shop,
while our alignment is fixed and our tires replaced. Relaxing for
sure. In the evening, we teach a lesson that succeeds in bringing us,
the investigator and the member present all to tears simultaneously.
Pretty solid.
Wednesday-I get to interview a candidate for baptism! Her name is
Montee and she is marvelous. Marvelous Montee will be baptized on
Saturday.
Thursday-We drive up to the mission home. I spend almost two hours
there with President and Sister Craig. They insisted I just sit down
and relax while everything got situated. I told them I'd forgotten
how, and paced in the hallway making calls and doing some paperwork
I'd been putting off. They though that was pretty funny. Elder
Hadfield leaves, Elder Anderson arrives. District meeting. Elder
Hadfield, after being in the area for about 30 minutes, has to leave
for a trade-off in a neighboring area. He was a REALLY good sport
about it. After he leaves the other Elder and I tract all day.
Friday-Elder Anderson's first real day!
Saturday-we tract all day and are on our bikes! We meet a Vietnam war
vet who talks to us for over an hour about martial arts. I eventually
give up trying to get a hold of the conversation naturally and just
interrupt him mid-demonstration of how to kill a whole bundle of Viet
Cong in 20 seconds or less by holding up a Book of Mormon and inviting
him to get baptized. He looked a bit confused.
Sunday-Also tracting. Also Church! Testimony meeting is fun.
So we keep trying. And we must, you know. We must keep trying. Keep
trying to be better. Keep trying to master ourselves. Plato said: "The
first and best victory is to conquer self; to be conquered by self is,
of all things, the most shameful and vile.” da Vinci expressed a
similar thought when he told us: “You will never have a greater or
lesser dominion than that over yourself." and “the height of a man’s
success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his
self-abandonment. … And this law is the expression of eternal justice.
He who cannot establish dominion over himself will have no dominion
over others.”
Reminds me what it says in preach my gospel about not being able to
convert a person beyond your own conversion. One more. Solomon said:
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that
ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” (Prov. 16:32.)
Have to know yourself, even if that can be unpleasant at times. You
have to master your own. Bit by tiny bit. As Spencer W. Kimball says,
"You are not living in the life of luck; it is a life of pluck."
The heights by great men reached and kept
Were not attained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept,
Were toiling upward in the night.
(Success is Gauged by Self-Mastery, General Conference)
And as you labor, as you work, as you focus just on the needs of
today, you change. You may never notice, you may never tell, but you
do. An until you do... Fake it! Fake it till you make it! The
following story gave me some hope on that count.
“Lord George had led an evil life. He had been a drunkard, a gambler,
and a cheat in business, and his face reflected the life he had led.
It was a very evil face.
“One day he fell in love with a simple country girl to whom he
proposed marriage. Jenny Mere told him that she could never marry a
man whose face was so repulsive and so evil-looking; and also that
when she did marry, she wanted a man with a saintlike face, which was
the mirror of true love.
“Following a custom of the day, Lord George went down to Mr. Aeneas in
Bond Street, London. Aeneas made waxen masks for people, and his skill
was so art-perfect that the person’s identity was completely hidden.
As proof of his skill, it is said that many spendthrift debtors,
equipped with his masks, could pass among their creditors
unrecognized. Aeneas went to his storeroom, selected a mask, heated it
over a lamp, fixed it to Lord George’s face; and when Lord George
looked in the glass, he had the face of a saint who loved dearly. So
altered was his appearance that Jenny Mere was soon wooed and won.
“He bought a little cottage in the country, almost hidden in an arbor
of roses, with a tiny garden spot. From then on his entire life
changed. He became interested in nature; he found ‘sermons in stones,
books in brooks, and good in everything.’ Formerly he was blasé and
life had no interest for him; now, he was engrossed in kindliness, and
the world around him.
“He was not content with starting life anew, but tried to make amends
for the past. Through a confidential solicitor he restored his
ill-gotten gains to those whom he had cheated. Each day brought new
refinements to his character, more beautiful thoughts to his soul.
“By accident, his former companions discovered his identity. They
visited him in his garden, and urged him to return to his old evil
life. When he refused, he was attacked, and the mask was torn from his
face.
“He hung his head. Here was the end of all; here was the end of his
newfound life and his love dream. As he stood with bowed head, with
the mask at his feet on the grass, his wife rushed across the garden
and threw herself on her knees in front of him. When she looked up at
him, what do you suppose she found? Lo! Line for line, feature for
feature, the face was the same as that of the mask. Lines of
beauty--regular features.” (Source unknown.)
(To Bear the Priesthood Worthily, General Conference)
Those are kind of my thoughts for this week. Do your best, one day at
a time. One more story though, on a slightly different subject. In the
midst of the madness of the week there was a quiet moment, like the
eye of a storm. I was standing next to a person I didn't know very
well, and we struck up a conversation (about the gospel. shocker). The
person expressed to me what they referred to as a "hopimony". They
don't know or testify that the gospel is true, but they hope it is.
This is a pretty common thing we missionaries hear. Mostly we ask
questions and recommend scriptures, prayer,mans the exercise of faith.
But this conversation went a little differently. This person wasn't
interested in any of that. Instead, they looked me in the eyes and
asked me if and how I had any more than a "hopimony".
I have expressed myself at length upon that subject in these letters.
I am certain you grow weary. And so I will say here only exactly what
I said then. Just for clarification, "Elohim" is a Hebrew name for
Heavenly Father. Anyway, I leaned forward, neither of us blinked, and
I said:
"Elohim has spoken to me by the unmistakable power of the Holy Ghost.
He told me these things are true. I know it, and I testify of it, in
the name of Jesus Christ."
There was a long, long silence afterwards. We did not speak of it
more, and the tide of time swept that person away. In my mind since
then, though, have echoed the words of Garrison: “I am in earnest--I
will not equivocate--I will not excuse--I will not retreat a single
inch--and I will be heard."
My voice was quiet. It was a little voice. Sometimes little voices are
heard. For good or for ill, I suppose. Which reminds me of a poem.
Love poems.
Hearsay
In every town, in every street,
In nearly every house, you meet
A little imp, who wriggles in
With half a sneer and half a grin,
And climbs upon your rocking chair,
Or creeps upon you anywhere;
And when he gets you very near,
Just whispers something in your ear--
Some rumor of another’s shame--
And “Little Hearsay” is his name.
He never really claims to know--
He’s only heard that it is so;
And then he whispers it to you,
So you will go and whisper too.
For if enough is passed along
The rumor, even though it’s wrong--
If John tells Henry, Henry--Joe,
And Joe tells Mary, Mary--Flo,
And Flo tells Mildred, Mildred--Ruth--
It very soon may pass for truth.
You understand, this little elf
He doesn’t say he knows himself,
He doesn’t claim it’s really true--
He only whispers it to you,
Because he knows you’ll go and tell
Some other whisperer as well.
And so before the setting sun
He gets the devil’s mischief done,
And there is less of joy and good
Around your little neighborhood.
Look out for “Hearsay!” when he sneaks
Inside the house--when slander speaks
Just ask the proof in every case;
Just ask the name and date and place;
And if he says he’s only heard,
Declare you don’t believe a word,
And tell him you will not repeat
The silly chatter of the street.
However gossips smile and smirk,
Refuse to do their devil’s work.
Use your little voice for good. Hearken to the good little voices. Do
not equivocate, retreat, or excuse. And for goodness sake, take some
time, one day at a time.
No Time for God
No time for God?
What fools we are, to clutter up
Our lives with common things
And leave without heart’s gate
The Lord of life and Life itself--
Our God.
No time for God?
As soon to say, no time
To eat or sleep or love or die.
Take time for God
Or you shall dwarf your soul,
And when the angel death
Comes knocking at your door,
A poor mishappen thing you’ll be
To step into eternity.
I am a poor misshapen thing. But I'm working on it! Day by day, voice
by voice, toiling upward in the night. There is certainly no better
time, place, or way to do it. Being a missionary is fantastic. I'm
still hoping the mission president says something like the last scene
in Mulan.
"Would you like to stay for dinner?"
"Would you like to stay forever?!?"
Yes please. Forever and ever. What a magnificent gospel, work, and
life. What a deeply rooted happiness. The kind that nourishes and
prevails regardless of storms. The kind that grows in deluge or in
drought. May yours always grow.
And may you hear the voice of God again. He does not tire of speaking
truth. He does not weary in His declarations of light. Hear His voice
again. Hear Him tell you every word of this happiness that we call
gospel and He calls the Doctrine of Christ, is true. Absolutely true.
Elohim has spoken to me by the unmistakable power of the Holy Ghost.
He told me these things are true. I know it, and I testify of it, in
the name of Jesus Christ. I don't want that to happen just once. He'll
tell me again today, if I ask. And tomorrow, and tomorrow's tomorrow,
so that I can testify not just yesterday, but every day. So that I may
have a more excellent hope.
I believe it. I want it. I love it. I live it. I think it. I feel it.
I hear it. I know it. I testify of it in the name of Jesus of
Nazareth, who is the Christ.
Amen.
~Elder Jorgensen
Letters Home
To Mom:
I love you. Here's another letter from the mission president. Edited,
because again it talks mostly about other people, but I thought you
might like to read the parts about me.
Dear Elder Jorgensen
... I know this [week has been] very hard for you and for us... I've
just really had to come to terms with the fact that some emotional
issues are just as serious as something like kidney disease or
diabetes or something similar. It takes a lot of healing and a lot of
counseling and medication. No one knows better than you about that.
But the fact that you determined to come out here and make the very
best of this experience, speaks to the greatness of who you are. My
wife and I are eternally grateful for the blessing of having you with
us out here. I know that you will continue to bless many missionaries.
But please don't take the burden of someone else's agency on your own
shoulders... Thanks for being the amazing missionary that you are.
Much love president Craig
Lots of encouragement from him lately! That's been nice.
How are things? Thank you for your emails. They are fantastic. Our
family is the best. I'm a little sick so there might not be so much
writing as there is napping this Pday. I love you. Hoe is Grandma and
the girls and Dad? I love them.