I don't even know, y'all. Stuff happened. And there was much rejoicing.
I guess Monday's an interesting place to start. We had quite the lesson with a part-member family. Hold on, I'll pull up the official lesson report for y'all. This was written by my companion, Elder Burton, for the official records of the Church. I believe it accurately captures the spirit of the evening. Debb is a nonmember. Brominski is less-active. Thomas is the member we brought with us to the lesson.
"Haha things were a little crazy, Debb is back and wack. She was pretty cray. And of course Brominski tells us his life story and she says he's a liar. Then he got fired up then she got fired up. Elder Burton sat there quietly, Elder Jorgensen felt like he needed to take a bath and Thomas was trying to hold himself back from laughing out
loud. It was like watching a train wreck. It was very contentious. Over all the best part was showing the Savior wants to Forgive, and it came to pass that Elder Burton made an end of this reporting. Thank you."
The Savior wants to Forgive has some choice parts. The Savior Wants to Forgive, The Merciful Obtain Mercy, and Are We Not All Beggars. Those are your reading assignments for the week. Ingest them if you can.
What else? Wednesday I was in Palatka for trade-offs. Palatka is Starke but with more people and marginally fewer drugs. On Thursday I was in Julington Creek. Julington Creek is St. John's but with fewer people and marginally more money. Then Friday I was back here in St. Augustine. It was like doing my whole mission over again in three days.
Palatka Highlights:
Got thrown out of two apartment complexes, convinced a baptized and endowed member that Mormons are actually not a branch of the Amish, got home at 8:58 so we went out looking for someone to talk to (we're not supposed to be home until 9), found a man at 8:59 and taught him the first lesson right there in the street. Heard a sermon on the Book of Mormon from a man wearing a t-shirt with a marijuana-leaf design embroidered onto it. Chased a dog around a neighborhood. Not sure how to say this last one. We were knocking
doors, and off in the distance we hear a black lady yelling at the top of her lungs. My companion for the day is still in training. He's from Idaho. He hasn't quite grown accustomed to the Palatka culture. He was lured onward by this foreign phenomenon (for those of you who have not heard a middle-aged African American woman yelling at the top of her lungs into a cell-phone, I highly recommend the experience. From a distance. Probably a considerable distance. Like, from where you are now. That's probably the right amount of distance. You can probably hear her from there anyway) So we seek out this lady together and knock on her door. She yells at us. I laugh and beg her pardon and wish her a glorious day (people here say "y'all have a blessed day"
and if asked how you are, the correct response is "blessed"). We're walking away, my idahoan missionary pretty visibly shaken, me still chortling a bit, and she comes running (RUNNING) after us, apologizes, and we teach her the first lesson and convince her to take a pamphlet. Poor lady. She looked so confused. One second you're yelling up a storm (we still have no idea whether she was angry or just excited. It's impossible to tell) and then these two white boys interrupt and laugh at you and then you chase them and all of a sudden you're
accepting literature and a return appointment and praying in the street with them! Must have been a roller-coaster for her.
Julington Highlights:
I was pretty sick that day. The whole thing is a little fuzzy. I'm pretty sure missionary work was involved. Somehow. More knocking doors. I do remember one person answering.
"Not interested!"
"Oh yeah? Why's that?"
"Catholic."
"Oh that is lovely. You must be a man of great faith. Where do you go
to church?"
"Haven't found one here yet."
"Really? That's too bad. How long have you lived here?"
"16 years."
"..."
Real conversation. Not uncommon in its substance. Later that evening we put together a cupboard for a member while eating dinner with them. I was pretty out of it and at one point the member asked "Is playing pool allowed?" Thinking she must be a recent convert, still unsure of all the rules involved with being a member of the church, I told her that yes, playing pool was definitely allowed. In fact I think i said "We, [meaning, in my head, "members of the Church"] play pool all the time! We are definitely allowed." The whole thing kind of got out of hand from there and somehow the missionaries now have an appointment to go play pool at a members house on the middle of the day instead of, you know, preaching the gospel or something. Whoops.
Actually not the worst word-flub of the week. One of the missionaries I was with this week, while teaching a lesson to a rather attractive less-active member, meant to ask whether she had ever gone on teaching
visits with the Sister missionaries before, thinking that would be a great reactivation tool. Instead, he paused nervously and he said,
"So... Have you ever gone out with missionaries?" During the long pause that followed, I got a look at her face. It was priceless. And then his face was about ten times better, and redder. I valiantly attempted not to laugh. I failed, but it was a noble effort on my part. The whole thing was just great.
So, setting up billiard games, asking out less-actives, just a day in the missionary life.
In between the meetings (we have at least four a week, this week it was five) and traveling (600 miles this week) we did do some missionary work. Actually, a lot. 44 lessons! That's a lot of fun. We met some fascinating people. And Elizabeth got married.
I guess Monday's an interesting place to start. We had quite the lesson with a part-member family. Hold on, I'll pull up the official lesson report for y'all. This was written by my companion, Elder Burton, for the official records of the Church. I believe it accurately captures the spirit of the evening. Debb is a nonmember. Brominski is less-active. Thomas is the member we brought with us to the lesson.
"Haha things were a little crazy, Debb is back and wack. She was pretty cray. And of course Brominski tells us his life story and she says he's a liar. Then he got fired up then she got fired up. Elder Burton sat there quietly, Elder Jorgensen felt like he needed to take a bath and Thomas was trying to hold himself back from laughing out
loud. It was like watching a train wreck. It was very contentious. Over all the best part was showing the Savior wants to Forgive, and it came to pass that Elder Burton made an end of this reporting. Thank you."
The Savior wants to Forgive has some choice parts. The Savior Wants to Forgive, The Merciful Obtain Mercy, and Are We Not All Beggars. Those are your reading assignments for the week. Ingest them if you can.
What else? Wednesday I was in Palatka for trade-offs. Palatka is Starke but with more people and marginally fewer drugs. On Thursday I was in Julington Creek. Julington Creek is St. John's but with fewer people and marginally more money. Then Friday I was back here in St. Augustine. It was like doing my whole mission over again in three days.
Palatka Highlights:
Got thrown out of two apartment complexes, convinced a baptized and endowed member that Mormons are actually not a branch of the Amish, got home at 8:58 so we went out looking for someone to talk to (we're not supposed to be home until 9), found a man at 8:59 and taught him the first lesson right there in the street. Heard a sermon on the Book of Mormon from a man wearing a t-shirt with a marijuana-leaf design embroidered onto it. Chased a dog around a neighborhood. Not sure how to say this last one. We were knocking
doors, and off in the distance we hear a black lady yelling at the top of her lungs. My companion for the day is still in training. He's from Idaho. He hasn't quite grown accustomed to the Palatka culture. He was lured onward by this foreign phenomenon (for those of you who have not heard a middle-aged African American woman yelling at the top of her lungs into a cell-phone, I highly recommend the experience. From a distance. Probably a considerable distance. Like, from where you are now. That's probably the right amount of distance. You can probably hear her from there anyway) So we seek out this lady together and knock on her door. She yells at us. I laugh and beg her pardon and wish her a glorious day (people here say "y'all have a blessed day"
and if asked how you are, the correct response is "blessed"). We're walking away, my idahoan missionary pretty visibly shaken, me still chortling a bit, and she comes running (RUNNING) after us, apologizes, and we teach her the first lesson and convince her to take a pamphlet. Poor lady. She looked so confused. One second you're yelling up a storm (we still have no idea whether she was angry or just excited. It's impossible to tell) and then these two white boys interrupt and laugh at you and then you chase them and all of a sudden you're
accepting literature and a return appointment and praying in the street with them! Must have been a roller-coaster for her.
Julington Highlights:
I was pretty sick that day. The whole thing is a little fuzzy. I'm pretty sure missionary work was involved. Somehow. More knocking doors. I do remember one person answering.
"Not interested!"
"Oh yeah? Why's that?"
"Catholic."
"Oh that is lovely. You must be a man of great faith. Where do you go
to church?"
"Haven't found one here yet."
"Really? That's too bad. How long have you lived here?"
"16 years."
"..."
Real conversation. Not uncommon in its substance. Later that evening we put together a cupboard for a member while eating dinner with them. I was pretty out of it and at one point the member asked "Is playing pool allowed?" Thinking she must be a recent convert, still unsure of all the rules involved with being a member of the church, I told her that yes, playing pool was definitely allowed. In fact I think i said "We, [meaning, in my head, "members of the Church"] play pool all the time! We are definitely allowed." The whole thing kind of got out of hand from there and somehow the missionaries now have an appointment to go play pool at a members house on the middle of the day instead of, you know, preaching the gospel or something. Whoops.
Actually not the worst word-flub of the week. One of the missionaries I was with this week, while teaching a lesson to a rather attractive less-active member, meant to ask whether she had ever gone on teaching
visits with the Sister missionaries before, thinking that would be a great reactivation tool. Instead, he paused nervously and he said,
"So... Have you ever gone out with missionaries?" During the long pause that followed, I got a look at her face. It was priceless. And then his face was about ten times better, and redder. I valiantly attempted not to laugh. I failed, but it was a noble effort on my part. The whole thing was just great.
So, setting up billiard games, asking out less-actives, just a day in the missionary life.
In between the meetings (we have at least four a week, this week it was five) and traveling (600 miles this week) we did do some missionary work. Actually, a lot. 44 lessons! That's a lot of fun. We met some fascinating people. And Elizabeth got married.
You know the westerns where someone walks into the saloon and everyone freezes and stares? That's what it was. Elder Burton said if there had been a record playing, it would have screeched and stopped.
Someone large and bearded (which really could describe anyone there) growled at us as we got nearer,
"Can I help you gentlemen?"
"Nope, we're just here for the wedding. How are y'all tonight?"
And that was it. Then everyone was our best friend. I think I had more people offer me fried chicken over the next 90 minutes than I had met previously in my entire mission. Southern hospitality is alive and well in Florida. You just might get shot first.
Other things, other things... I got to bear a ten-word testimony to a very unique man. The words I chose for him were:
"I know that there is truth, and this (at which point I held the Book
of Mormon at chest height and shook it a bit) is it."
He liked that word "know". That's all either I or Elder Burton said.
He invited us back for next week.
There were other stories. Other times. We asked "Question Four" to a
group of people. Question four of the baptismal interview is: Have you
ever committed a serious crime? If so, are you now on probation or
parole? Have you ever participated in an abortion? a homosexual
relationship?
There were some concerns. Well, there were a myriad of concerns. There
was an avalanche of concerns. I don't think I've ever seen so much
concerning taking place all at one time in my entire life. I don't
think they could have been more concerned. Any more concerns than were
already happening there would have created a black hole of concern
that would have destroyed the very essence of space. There were many
concerns. We resolved one or two. Then we went home and promised to
come back a lot.
What else? I love these investigators. I just love them. With all my
heart. It's fun to love so so so much.
Gave some priesthood blessings. We have some incredible things coming
up. Jenni, Calea, and Linda all are being baptized this weekend. It's
going to be a white thanksgiving in Florida. It was a phenomenal week.
It was a week of ups, and also other ups. It was a week to remember
and celebrate and tell stories of and be happy about. It was a week of
adventure and fun in gorgeous St. Augustine. But the best part of my
week was when some... stuff... came out about Joseph Smith this week
in the mainstream news. Not sure if it's nation-wide, but it has been
much-discussed here in the South. There are a couple of people here
who are concerned. The best part of my week, then, was reading these
sacred words with them from D&C 135:
"To seal the testimony of this book and the Book of Mormon, we
announce the martyrdom of Joseph Smith the Prophet, and Hyrum Smith
the Patriarch. They were shot in Carthage jail, on the 27th of June,
1844, about five o’clock p.m., by an armed mob--painted black--of from
150 to 200 persons. Hyrum was shot first and fell calmly, exclaiming:
I am a dead man! Joseph leaped from the window, and was shot dead in
the attempt, exclaiming: O Lord my God! They were both shot after they
were dead, in a brutal manner, and both received four balls.
"John Taylor and Willard Richards, two of the Twelve, were the only
persons in the room at the time; the former was wounded in a savage
manner with four balls, but has since recovered; the latter, through
the providence of God, escaped, without even a hole in his robe.
"Joseph Smith, the Prophet and Seer of the Lord, has done more, save
Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other man
that ever lived in it. In the short space of twenty years, he has
brought forth the Book of Mormon, which he translated by the gift and
power of God, and has been the means of publishing it on two
continents; has sent the fulness of the everlasting gospel, which it
contained, to the four quarters of the earth; has brought forth the
revelations and commandments which compose this book of Doctrine and
Covenants, and many other wise documents and instructions for the
benefit of the children of men; gathered many thousands of the
Latter-day Saints, founded a great city, and left a fame and name that
cannot be slain. He lived great, and he died great in the eyes of God
and his people; and like most of the Lord’s anointed in ancient times,
has sealed his mission and his works with his own blood; and so has
his brother Hyrum. In life they were not divided, and in death they
were not separated!
"When Joseph went to Carthage to deliver himself up to the pretended
requirements of the law, two or three days previous to his
assassination, he said: “I am going like a lamb to the slaughter; but
I am calm as a summer’s morning; I have a conscience void of offense
towards God, and towards all men. I shall die innocent, and it shall
yet be said of me--he was murdered in cold blood.”--The same morning,
after Hyrum had made ready to go--shall it be said to the slaughter?
yes, for so it was--he read the following paragraph, near the close of
the twelfth chapter of Ether, in the Book of Mormon, and turned down
the leaf upon it:
"'And it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord that he would give
unto the Gentiles grace, that they might have charity. And it came to
pass that the Lord said unto me: If they have not charity it mattereth
not unto thee, thou hast been faithful; wherefore thy garments shall
be made clean. And because thou hast seen thy weakness, thou shalt be
made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place which I have
prepared in the mansions of my Father. And now I … bid farewell unto
the Gentiles; yea, and also unto my brethren whom I love, until we
shall meet before the judgment-seat of Christ, where all men shall
know that my garments are not spotted with your blood.' The testators
are now dead, and their testament is in force.
"Hyrum Smith was forty-four years old in February, 1844, and Joseph
Smith was thirty-eight in December, 1843; and henceforward their names
will be classed among the martyrs of religion; and the reader in every
nation will be reminded that the Book of Mormon, and this book of
Doctrine and Covenants of the church, cost the best blood of the
nineteenth century to bring them forth for the salvation of a ruined
world; and that if the fire can scathe a green tree for the glory of
God, how easy it will burn up the dry trees to purify the vineyard of
corruption. They lived for glory; they died for glory; and glory is
their eternal reward. From age to age shall their names go down to
posterity as gems for the sanctified.
"They were innocent of any crime, as they had often been proved
before, and were only confined in jail by the conspiracy of traitors
and wicked men; and their innocent blood on the floor of Carthage jail
is a broad seal affixed to “Mormonism” that cannot be rejected by any
court on earth, and their innocent blood on the escutcheon of the
State of Illinois, with the broken faith of the State as pledged by
the governor, is a witness to the truth of the everlasting gospel that
all the world cannot impeach; and their innocent blood on the banner
of liberty, and on the magna charta of the United States, is an
ambassador for the religion of Jesus Christ, that will touch the
hearts of honest men among all nations; and their innocent blood, with
the innocent blood of all the martyrs under the altar that John saw,
will cry unto the Lord of Hosts till he avenges that blood on the
earth. Amen."
It would behoove us, as members of this Church, to remember the words
"Joseph Smith, the Prophet and Seer of the Lord, has done more, save
Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other man
that ever lived in it." It would become us to recall that he and his
martyred brother "were innocent of ANY crime". (emphasis added) It
would do us well to remember whose side we are on, and which way we
face.
May we remember our ten word testimonies. May we know. May we stand
beside the Prophet. This is the command of our Lord Jesus. Such is His
right to demand of us. May we give what He has asked. May we remember
that it is everything. So that one day, when before Him we stand, when
before Him, in all His terrible majesty, enthroned upon the mercy
seat, we approach in desperation, and are required to speak, with
bowed knee and confessing tongue, we may yet receive an inheritance.
I love my Jesus. I want to be with Him. I love you too.
~Elder Jorgensen